Thoughts on Going Home

 All my life, I have been an enthusiastic traveler.  Starting at the age of two, when my parents, grandmother, 1-year-old sister and I drove from South Dakota to Oregon and back, I have been all about what lies over the next hill.  (In fact, I was told that on that inaugural trip, I sang "The Bear Went Over the Mountain" non-stop through the Rockies.)  I never understood the kids who were homesick at Girl Scout camp, or when visiting distant relatives.  Where was their sense of adventure?

I credit this to my father, who was the same way.  I asked him once whether he had ever been homesick, in his travels or his stint in the Navy, and he said, "No.  Wherever I hang my hat is home."  (Which in retrospect is pretty funny, because he only wore hats when the temperature was below zero.)

That's why an experience I had this September was extremely disorienting.

Dad died this summer, and in September my sister and I took his ashes back to South Dakota for burial next to our mother.  I have not lived in South Dakota for 35 years, and I had only visited there a few times in the early years of my absence.  Not only have I never longed to return there, I have scoffed at the articles naming Sioux Falls as an ideal place for retirees to settle.  Had those writers ever visited the area in the winter?  Did they have any idea how difficult it is for the elderly - particularly the very elderly - to avoid being homebound in a state with copious snowfall and almost no mass transit?  I didn't miss the winter temperatures, the summer mosquitoes, the wind that never quits...you get the picture.  But...

A funny thing happened as we drove through the countryside toward Sioux Falls.  As we passed the seemingly endless lines of cornfields, the pastures of Hereford and Angus cattle, the farmhouses huddled into windbreaks, and the piles of alfalfa hay bales, I started to choke up.  Sioux Falls itself had paradoxically expanded far beyond my childhood boundaries while simultaneously shrinking (12 blocks to the mile there, as opposed to the 8 blocks per mile where I live now).  I still have no desire to ever move back there (the snow! the mosquitoes!), but something deep inside me felt that I was coming home.

I take this as confirmation of the research showing that the brain loves the familiar.  I would previously have said that for me, home is where the people I love are; but now my most deeply loved relatives are all buried somewhere in South Dakota.  For both reasons, maybe Sioux Falls will forever be my emotional home.

I still don't ever want to move back there.

Going home must be like going to render an account. ~Joseph Conrad

What I Packed and How It Worked

When I worked in insurance, I traveled a lot for my job, and after a couple of unfortunate experiences with overloaded luggage, I embraced the idea of the travel capsule.  I still try to pack clothing and accessories that all go together, with (if possible) no more than two pairs of shoes for each trip.  I can generally travel for an indefinite period with one carry on bag and a tote, as long as I can occasionally do laundry along the way.  Our recent 22-day "retirement celebration" trip, however, was a true packing challenge.

We left the Phoenix area when the temp was 110 degrees Fahrenheit; traveled to Mexico, which was even hotter, for Lee's annual dental checkup; spent a week in cold, rainy areas of Oregon and Washington; and returned by way of California, where we started in cool, foggy weather and ended with more hot and sunny days.  In addition, although all our destinations were quite casual, the style vibe in each area was very different.  In the Cascades, for instance, everyone seemed to be wearing plaid flannel shirts and blue jeans, while the parts of California we visited had a much more urban aesthetic.  So, we had to pack not only layers, but layers that could go from rustic to chic as needed.  Not so easy.

Here is the wardrobe I packed:

CORE PIECES

The bottoms I packed were black straight-leg knit pants; dark wash blue jeans; light gray denim capris; and black linen shorts.  The tops were a roll-sleeve option burgundy silk shirt; a white cotton camp shirt; a short sleeve plaid seersucker button-up shirt; a white scoopneck tee; and a black notch neck tee.

What worked: The black pants, jeans, and most of the shirts performed like troupers, shedding wrinkles and hiding dirt between washes.  They also coordinated well enough so that I always had something to wear, no matter what I'd spilled lunch on the day before.

What didn't work so well: The gray capris were so light they picked up smudges every time I helped load the car.  I should have taken a darker pair instead.  The black linen shorts, as expected, wrinkled pretty badly; in addition, we only had three days hot enough to really justify wearing them.  Next time I would pack a second pair of capris or a lightweight skirt instead.  And the white cotton camp shirt was a big disappointment.  I bought it new from Chadwick's of Boston specifically for this trip, and the first time I washed it, it wrinkled worse than any garment I've ever owned (much worse even than linen).  After that first wash I ironed it twice but never got all the wrinkles out.  It wrinkled when packed; it wrinkled when worn; it wrinkled worse every time it was washed.  The white campshirt idea was perfect for this trip, but this particular item didn't live up to its promise.  (I will be writing a stern review at the retailer's website.)

THIRD LAYERS

The outer layers I brought along were a burgundy faux leather moto jacket, a heavy black hoodie, a black cashmere crewneck pullover, a black cotton cardigan, a quilted black vest, and a burgundy and black ombre scarf.

What worked: The hoodie was my go-to outerwear on chilly days in rural Washington.  I wore the burgundy moto jacket on rainy days and when I needed to look a little dressier.  I wore the cashmere crewneck by itself as a top and as a third layer over one of the collared shirts when I didn't quite need a jacket.  I wore the cotton cardigan in air-conditioned restaurants and tourist attractions throughout California.

What didn't: I never wore the vest or the scarf.  Whenever it was cold enough to wear the vest by itself, I wanted additional cover for my arms as well as my torso.  I would have worn the blanket scarf by itself if we had had colder weather in California, or over my other layers if the temp in Oregon or Washington had droppped another 10 degrees, but that was not the case.  If we were to do this trip again under similar conditions, I would take the scarf along again just in case, but leave the vest at home.

ACCESSORIES

For jewelry, I wore my vintage gold-tone Seiko watch with black leather band and vintage Greek reproduction earrings with cabochon garnets.  I also brought two gold necklaces - one long and one short - and a brass repoussé cuff bracelet.  Other accessories included a white sun hat, a burgundy wool hat, burgundy wool gloves, sunglasses, folding umbrella, and a white and burgundy silk scarf that could be worn by itself or on the hat.  The two pairs of shoes I took were red faux suede ballet flats and gray Dr. Comfort sneakers with gray cotton socks.  I carried my burgundy and black leather shoulder bag and packed a gray neck pouch.

What worked: Almost everything.  Bonus points to the shoulder bag for being large enough to lug around my DSLR camera and extra lens, and to the Blunt Metro umbrella for not turning inside out in the high winds at Mt. Hood.

What didn't:  I ended up not using the wool hat and gloves because the two days cold enough to justify them were also raining sideways, and I didn't want to deal with wet wool.  I never wore the long gold necklace because we didn't go anywhere dressy enough to require it.  I also didn't need the neck pouch, which I had mainly included in case we went hiking; we didn't.  I would probably bring all these things along again, however, on a similar trip.

In case you are interested, Lee packed more clothes than I did but ended up spending most of the trip in his warmup pants or blue jeans and a tee shirt, with his navy and maroon plaid flannel shirt as a jacket.  Whatever works.

Coming up - more information on all the great stuff we saw along the way.

"Even my basic, basic wardrobe is still pathetically colour coordinated.  It just is.  That is just me."  ~Trinny Woodall

Back Home At Last

After Lee's shoulder surgery at the beginning of June, my cat Charlie and I stayed at Lee's place for two months, until he could handle putting on shoes, basic cooking, and light laundry by himself.  We moved back to our place for the month of August, during which I worked frantically to get everything at home and in the office ready for my retirement on August 31.  This included making a slew of appointments with new doctors, since I went on Medicare at the first of the month with a Medicare Advantage plan that didn't include my old primary care group.  Then immediately after my retirement, Lee and I spent 22 days on the road, mainly seeing his friends and relatives in Washington, Oregon, and California.  (He said the plan was to get me far enough away from Arizona that no one could call me to come in to work to solve "just one last problem."  Since we were frequently in areas with no wifi and only spotty cell phone coverage, the plan worked pretty well.)

So, the next few posts will be a potpourri of different subjects (not necessarily in this order):

Well, at least one of us was having a good time!
Photo courtesy of Lee's cousin Sandy Lee.

• What a reverse shoulder replacement is, and how the road to recovery works.
• The challenge of selecting a travel capsule wardrobe for a trip that covered 6 different states and Mexico and weather ranging from 110 degrees Fahrenheit with very low humidity to the high 40s and low 50s in pouring rain.
• What we saw and did during the trip, with photos.  Many photos.

Enjoy!

"There's no time to be bored in a world as beautiful as this." ~Anonymous

One Week and Counting

Lee does not have an Internet connection at his house, and I am hopeless at typing more than a paragraph at a time on my phone, so while Charlie and I are camping out there I will only be posting when I make brief visits home to pick up the mail, wind the grandfather clock, and feed my sourdough starter.

Ten days after surgery, Lee is doing very well.  His surgeon received ringing endorsements from all the hospital staff, and I can see why - he does joint replacements every day, and apparently has them down to a science.  The scar is much smaller and neater than I expected.  The VA hospital staff has also been very supportive.  They sent him home with an Iceman therapy machine which has done an awesome job of bringing down the swelling in that arm and hand.  After a week, they also started him on physical therapy with a Skype-like app for his Android tablet, which saves us the hassle of having to drive downtown and back for his appointments.  And, he just received a TENS unit to control pain and stimulate his muscles.

Lee was worried about being under anesthesia too long, but he was back to his old self within a couple of days.  He was also concerned about receiving opiods for pain, but he is already off everything except an occasional Tylenol; in fact, he says his shoulder already hurts less than it did before the operation.  Yay!

The last remaining hurdle is to get him to accept the PT technician's decree that he can't drive for six weeks - or get her to change her mind before he goes stir crazy.

"If you're going to have cabin fever, have a big cabin, you know." ~Joe Cocker

If you're going to have a cabin fever, have a big cabin, you know. Joe Cocker
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/joe_cocker_690236

Post-Surgery

Lee had his reverse shoulder replacement surgery on Wednesday.  The surgeon said his shoulder was a real mess - ALL the tendons were torn, it was full of arthritis and fluid, and the arm bone had moved partway out of the socket.  The surgery went well, though, and although he had quite a bit of pain on Thursday (it took his nurse four hours to deliver his pain pills after he asked for them), they did let him go home that evening and he has been feeling better since.  He will be in a sling for a month and has to sleep in his Craftmatic bed with the head elevated.  Charlie and I are camping out there for the time being; I am trying to keep him from doing all the things he's not supposed to, like pulling t-shirts over his head and using his right hand "just to help."  As his son said, "Let the high maintenance begin!"

"Rotator cuff tear arthropathy (arthritis with a large cuff defect) is a devastating condition that seriously compromises the comfort and function of the shoulder. This condition is characterized by the irreparable loss of the rotator cuff tendons and destruction of the normal joint surface of the shoulder. Because these tissues cannot be restored, the shoulder is often weak, painful, and unstable. Using special techniques and a reversed total shoulder design, qualified surgeons can improve the stability of the shoulder and enable the deltoid muscle to power it, even in the absence of a normal rotator cuff." ~University of Washington Orthopaedics and Sports Medicine