The Lure of Beauty

Today I was sharing some of the items in my Poshmark closet in a "wardrobe goals" party, and I was struck by how many of descriptions say "worn once" or "only worn twice."  How could I have purchased all this clothing and jewelry, hung onto it for (in some cases) 30 years, and never used it?

I blame the Lure of Beauty.

I'll bet you know what I mean.  The color, the fabric, the design was just so amazing I had to buy whatever it was.  The feel of the soft silk!  The saturated colors in the paisley print!  The stunning asymmetrical neckline!  Then when I took it home, it didn't go with anything else I owned.  Or it was gorgeous, but not really cut right for my body.  Or, in the case of my most recent wardrobe mistake, I realized too late that I don't feel comfortable displaying my booty in maroon pants, even though they're well cut and go with most of my other things.  Beauty on the hanger or in the jewelry case doesn't always translate to wearable.

When I was an insurance executive in New York, I could afford to buy clothing and accessories I wore only occasionally (or never).  With retirement staring me in the face, that is no longer the case.  Now before I buy something, it has to pass through these filters:

• Is it an item I really need?  Does it fill a gap in my wardrobe AND do I anticipate wearing it frequently? 
• Do the color and style flatter me and coordinate with the rest of my things?
• Does it fit my body really well, or can I have it tailored cost-effectively?
• Will it be easy to maintain?  (I rarely buy "dry clean only" any more.)
• Can I afford it?
• Does it make me feel fabulous?  (Those maroon pants were never more than "yeah, OK.")

I actually tried to ask some of these questions in the past - particularly "does it coordinate with the rest of my things" - but then a luxurious cashmere or a particularly beautiful semiprecious stone would convince me that surely I could wear whatever it was with SOMETHING in my closet.

Oh, the lies we tell ourselves when seduced by the Lure of Beauty.  Now when I am in danger of succumbing to it, I watch a few videos by slow fashion and sustainable style blogger Alyssa Beltempo, and eventually the moment passes.

"Fashion you can buy, but style you possess. The key to style is learning who you are, which takes years. There's no how-to road map to style. It's about self expression and, above all, attitude." —Iris Apfel

The Grand Canyon in Winter

The first vacation Lee and I ever took together was a train ride to the Grand Canyon in January of 2016.  It snowed so hard the day before that the "train robbers" who were supposed to hold us up on our way home had to "attack" the train on foot instead of horseback, but it was a fun day anyway.  We drove home by way of Sedona, also cloaked in snow. Here is part of the trip in pictures.

“There will never be a photograph of the Grand Canyon that can adequately describe its depth, breadth, and true beauty.” ― Stefanie Payne, A Year in the National Parks: The Greatest American Road Trip
 

Internal Fireworks

Last Friday evening (the start of the Memorial Day weekend, OF COURSE), Lee and I were watching a movie on TV when suddenly I started seeing flashes of light at the edge of my left eye.  They were occasional at first, but then came faster and faster, and eventually I had about 5 minutes of an intense light show going on inside my eyeball.

Well, light flashes are one of the precursors to a detached retina, so we discussed whether to head to the ER.  We decided not to go because the light flashes stopped; the hospital would not have had an ophthalmologist on duty at night on a holiday weekend; and if they had decided to keep me overnight for observation, my health insurance would not have covered the bill.

I have now seen a retinal specialist and the verdict is no retinal detachment - yay!  Apparently as the eye ages, the inner jelly shrinks and throws off floaters, and when the floaters bump against the retina, they can cause flashes.  And yes, my left eye is definitely "floatier" now than it was before Friday night.  Just another one of those annoying "at your age..." issues that no one warns you about in advance.

My sister is planning to live to 110, but I don't want to be around that long; I don't want to find out for myself what "at your age..." infirmities are lurking for centenarians.  I'm sure they're a lot nastier than fireworks inside my eye.

"In youth we run into difficulties.  In old age difficulties run into us." ~Josh Billings

Bubby, Can You Spare a Book?

Several years ago I was given my first e-reader - an early version of the Barnes & Nobel Nook - and received it with mixed feelings.  It just didn't look and feel like a real book.  I wasn't sure I could adjust.

Since then I have grown to love traveling with an e-reader.  I load it up with novels I want to read on the plane/bus/road; travel guides for the area I'll be visiting; and (if I'm going to a foreign country) phrase books for the local language.  One small book to pack instead of an entire stack - as long as I remember the charger, I'm golden.

I've also started to use it to downsize my possessions.  Although by some definitions I'm already living in a tiny house, the day will eventually come when I'm living in a single room, and it won't have space for all my books.  When possible, I've been trying to store my favorites on the e-reader and eliminate the hard copy.

However, I have a lot of favorites, and while many classic books out of copyright are free through Project Gutenberg, most e-books are almost as expensive as their hard copy versions.  Which is why I was happy to join BookBub.

Every day BookBub emails me a list of e-books on sale.  The list is tailored to my reading tastes (I had to fill out a questionnaire), and because I have a Nook, most of the books are from Barnes & Noble, although I've also acquired some from other sources.  I have been using the list in three ways:

• When one of my favorite books shows up free or at a low price - say, $1.99 - I buy it.
• If something that looks like an interesting read shows up as "Free," I download it.
• If I see a book by a new-to-me author that looks good but I don't want to spend money on it, I go to the Greater Phoenix Digital Library (through Overdrive) and see if I can check it out.
  

So, in addition to letting me replace some of my hard copy books, BookBub has been introducing me to a constant stream of new authors, many of whom are not available in my local brick-and-mortar library.  I'm actually on my third e-reader now (they lead a hard life in my purse), and I'm getting quite fond of the little devils.  If you have one and are looking for a good source of affordable e-books, check out BookBub - you'll be glad you did.

“Books are a uniquely portable magic.” – Stephen King

A Stitch (Fix) in Time

As I've mentioned before, I've spent part of the last two years downsizing and improving my wardrobe.  I did a lot of this (both disposal and acquisition) with the help of Poshmark, but I also decided to try Stitch Fix.

If you have somehow avoided being exposed to their ads, Stitch Fix is a personal styling service that will send you 5 pieces of clothing and/or accessories every 3 months to buy or return.  They charge a $20 up-front styling fee each time that goes toward the purchase of any items you decide to keep.  When you receive your Fix box, it includes a postage-paid pouch for returns.

To help determine your style, the software takes you through questions about your body type, fit and color preferences, budget, etc.  You are shown "outfit" photos and asked to rate how well you like them.  In addition, Stitch Fix suggests you set up a Pinterest board with items you like to give their stylists more specific guidance about your taste.  A few months ago they also added a feature to their website where you are shown a selection of different clothing items each day and asked whether each one is your style or not, and you can leave a short note for your stylist before each Fix.

How well does this work?

First of all, let me be clear - I do not like IRL shopping.  Occasionally I am forced to visit a brick and mortar store just to check the fit of a new clothing brand, but I was never a mall rat and prefer online ordering, so the mechanics of this process worked well for me.  If your idea of heaven is spending the day browsing the clearance racks at Nordstrom's, this may not be the right service for you.  

Over the past two years, I have been assigned a different stylist for almost every Fix.  (The last two were both by the same person.)  Two of the stylists - including the last one - nailed my style.  A couple of the early ones were really off.  I blame the vagueness of some of the initial style questions for this; for instance, I marked that I like green apparel, but the greens I typically wear are blue-greens; the olive sweatshirt in one Fix made me look newly embalmed.  Over time, as I have made online comments about what I kept and what I returned and why, the Fixes have been getting better and better.  I've also been pretty regular about going to the site for the daily "thumbs up/thumbs down" ratings on individual items.

Perhaps the biggest help, though, was when I added photos of most of my existing wardrobe to my Pinterest board so the stylists can see what I actually wear and determine where the gaps in my closet might be.  That's when I started to receive garments that worked with all my other clothing.  So, the more information you give the stylists, the better the end results.

Overall, I have been very happy with the service.  By now they have sent me several items that I would never have picked for myself, but that I adored from the minute I tried them on.  When I complained that two of the garments shrank in the wash, despite my following the laundering directions to the letter, they refunded my money with a note of apology.

Do I recommend the service?  Yes, if you are willing to do the work to show the stylists who you really are.  In fact, rating their items and uploading the pieces in my current wardrobe that I like the most helped me better define what my personal style actually is, which was wonderful.  Will I continue to use them?  Yes, but probably not as frequently - thanks in part to their efforts, my wardrobe works so well together now that I am only going to need additional pieces to replace things that wear out.

“Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” ―Rachel Zoe