OAQs

This is a complete collection of all the previously posted Occasionally Asked Questions.

How long have you been writing?
Since I could almost spell.  I remember having to recite one of my sixth-grade poems in a school program.  It was very deep.  None of the parents understood it, but they clapped politely anyway.

Have you always wanted to be an author?
No, originally I wanted to be a veterinarian, which was totally unrealistic for someone who faints at the sight of blood.  I was an English major in college mainly so I could earn course credits for reading instead of being accused of wasting time with books.

Have you ever considered writing a novel?
I’ve written several, but I haven’t been able to sell them.  This must mean I’m a bad writer or a bad marketer or both.  That’s pretty unfortunate, since I have a degree in English and another in marketing.

When did you learn to draw?
I hope to start on that some time real soon.  

No, really, when did you learn to draw?
Seriously, I can’t.  When I told my high school art teacher that I was planning to minor in art at college, he visibly winced and said I had a good sense of color.  I do all my artwork on the computer with software like Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop or Corel Painter.  I have a Wacom tablet and stylus, but I don’t use them for anything a traditional artist would consider drawing.

Does Barry read your posts before you publish them?
Heck, no.  He wouldn’t think they were funny, which would suck the life out of my desire to publish them.  As it is, I’m not sure he even knows I have a blog, which is just the way I like it.

Didn’t you tell him you were starting a blog?
Yes, but I don’t know if he heard/understood/remembers.  He never looks at my other website unless I force him to do so.

Aren’t you worried he’ll be offended by things you’ve said about him?
I have three readers – who’s going to tell him?  Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.  [And besides, now that we've broken up and he has a new sweetie, I doubt that he'd even care.]

Why did you decide to start blogging?
To keep my head from exploding.  See the post entitled "Thar She Blows!"

Why did you decide to call your blog "Continually Surprised?"
Because I am.  Also because I live [at the time I started the blog I lived] in Surprise, Arizona.  Is that too cutesy?  Yeah, I thought it might be.  Too late now.

Why did you adopt the onion with the pencil as the mascot for your blog?
I had some fuzzy idea that I would be writing about food and writing and grumpiness, so I thought a vegetable with a writing implement would cover two out of the three.

But why an onion?  Is it meant to imply that you are a complicated personality with many layers?
No, it's because the onion is the easiest vegetable to draw - a circle, a few shadowy stripes...I guess a cherry tomato might be even easier, but the onion fits in better with the whole crankiness theme.  A cherry tomato would be too cheery, if you see what I mean.

How did you decide on the design for the header?
I was originally going to post a photo of myself, but I decided I would rather use a cartoon, because even though it looks like Betty Boop's less-sexy older sister, some deluded reader may still have a mental image of me as tall, svelte, and mysteriously attractive.  A photo would remove the mystery by revealing that I actually do look like Betty Boop's less-sexy older sister.  [Of course, now that I've grown out my hair some and lightened it I look less like Betty, but still not tall, svelte, and mysteriously attractive.  Sigh.]

You mentioned Dancing with the Stars in your last post.  Are you a big fan of the show?
Yes, I’d like to compete on Dancing with the Stars myself.  I think a mirror-ball trophy would look good on our my entertainment center, probably to the left of the monster TV.

Do you think they would ever ask you to be on the show?
I’m sure they’ll be beating my door down as soon as I have 10 steady readers.

Since you’ve had many years of dance lessons, wouldn’t you have an unfair advantage over the other celebrities?
Certainly not.  Although I’ve had 10 years of ballroom dance lessons, I’ve really been more like one year repeated 10 times, and with my coordination I need that much of a head start.  Have you ever watched this show?  Way too many of the stars are professional athletes.  Talk about an unfair advantage – they can move their arms and legs at the same time!  Some of them even have energy left over to smile at the audience - that's amazing!  I’m sure I can dance better than most of the comedians and professional models they’ve had on in the past, but that isn’t saying much.  My cat has more rhythm than Penn [of Penn and Teller – he was very briefly on Dancing with the Stars].

What’s your favorite thing about dancing?
The word “Terpsichore.”  Try to say that three times real fast.

Which are your favorite ballroom dances?
To watch, the tango – so cool and sexy.  To dance myself, the waltz.  In addition to being very romantic, the waltz has the strongest beat and the simplest footwork; if the guy can lead well, the woman just has to allow herself to be swept away.

Now that you have a little blogging under your belt, do you plan to change the focus of your blog?
I didn't know that random thoughts could be considered a focus.  I'm not really planning anything at this point - I'm just relying on the Internet as a cheap substitute for therapy.

Do you have anything you’d like to say to your readers?
Yes, I do.  Thank you for reading, and please tell your friends about this blog.  I have no hope that it will go viral, but if all three of you tell somebody else, we may be able to work up a mild sniffle.