Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Pity Party Is Over

OK, I've recovered from Monday's downward spiral.  My weight was down two pounds this morning, I finished grading half the final projects yesterday, and Barry is even in a better mood today.  I'm also willing to believe he deflected the compliment about my dancing because he wanted the other woman to feel better about being a beginner rather than to denigrate me.  His comment just caught me off guard and hit me squarely in the middle of a major insecurity.

I've mentioned before that I was a very uncoordinated child.  I was also pigeon-toed and my ankles turned in.  I wore orthopedic footwear until junior high; even today the sight of black-and-white saddle shoes gives me chills.  I took tap, ballet, aerobic and modern dance, karate, judo, and fencing lessons to improve my grace and coordination.  Then I smashed both legs in a car accident and walked like an arthritic penguin for years.  My orthopedic surgeon originally told me that I'd probably be dragging my now shorter right leg behind me for the rest of my life.  I religiously performed every strength and flexibility exercise I knew for 10 years before I was once again walking without an obvious limp.  I still have some residual pain in cold, damp weather, knees that won't let me ski or play racket sports, and toes with no feeling, but when I relearned to walk I paid particular attention to improving my balance so that my ankles no longer pronate.

Because of all this, compliments about my dancing mean a lot to me, and when Barry stamped on one the clumsy, pigeon-toed five-year-old inside me burst into tears.  I believe I've calmed her down, though, and today I'll be drinking my coffee out of this mug:

"Other people and things can stop you temporarily. You're the only one who can do it permanently."
~Zig Ziglar


  1. Glad you're feeling better! Sometimes it can be hard to sustain your emotional equilibrium when you're side-swiped by a spouse's insensitivity.
    Men ... ya gotta love em, despite their apparent lack of basic social skills.
    To be fair, I've known quite a few truly sensitive men, but the majority seem to view the world through more critical lenses than their female counterparts. I guess it's essentially a gender thing ( Martians vs. Venusians ).
    In earlier days I can remember being provoked into major hissy-fits of exasperation by my first husband; thankfully, over the years I've developed a tougher hide ( in more ways than one ), and I'm more inclined to accept that men often have a whole different way of processing things, rather than interpreting what I perceive to be an astonishing lack of understanding as a personal insult. Doesn't work 100% of the time, but at least it takes some of the sting out of the occasional misunderstandings.
    Ain't love grand?
    P.S. Kudos to you for your remarkable physical come-back! Shows amazing determination and strength.

  2. To quote one of the characters in St. Elmo's Fire, "Men - can't live with them, can't shoot them."

    As far as the comeback thing goes - I luckily inherited good bones, and Dad always said the best way to get members of our family to do something was to tell us we weren't capable of it. Works for me!