Saturday, September 18, 2010


Occasionally Asked Questions (I don’t have enough readers to have Frequently Asked Questions)

How long have you been writing?
Since I could almost spell.  I remember having to recite one of my sixth-grade poems in a school program.  It was very deep.  None of the parents understood it, but they clapped politely anyway.

Have you always wanted to be an author?
No, originally I wanted to be a veterinarian, which was totally unrealistic for someone who faints at the sight of blood.  I was an English major in college mainly so I could earn course credits for reading instead of being accused of wasting time with books.

Have you ever considered writing a novel?
I’ve written several, but I haven’t been able to sell them.  This must mean I’m a bad writer or a bad marketer or both.  That’s pretty unfortunate, since I have a degree in English and another in marketing.

When did you learn to draw?
I hope to start on that some time real soon.  

No, really, when did you learn to draw?
Seriously, I can’t.  When I told my high school art teacher that I was planning to minor in art at college, he visibly winced and said I had a good sense of color.  I do all my artwork on the computer with software like Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop or Corel Painter.  I have a Wacom tablet and stylus, but I don’t use them for anything a traditional artist would consider drawing.

Does Barry read your posts before you publish them?
Heck, no.  He wouldn’t think they were funny, which would suck the life out of my desire to publish them.  As it is, I’m not sure he even knows I have a blog, which is just the way I like it.

Didn’t you tell him you were starting a blog?
Yes, but I don’t know if he heard/understood/remembers.  He never looks at my other website unless I force him to do so.

Aren’t you worried he’ll be offended by things you’ve said about him?
I have three readers – who’s going to tell him?  Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Do you have anything you’d like to say to your readers?
Yes, I do.  Thank you for reading, and please tell your friends about this blog.  I have no hope that it will go viral, but if all three of you tell somebody else, we may be able to work up a mild sniffle.

"You mustn't always believe what I say. Questions tempt you to tell lies, particularly when there is no answer." - Pablo Picasso 


  1. I can't wait until I have enough readers to be asked questions occasionally. I like your style though and I will look for updates.
    P.S. Now you have 4 readers and since I don't know Barry, I won't tell him a thing I promise.

  2. What, you don't hear mysterious voices asking you questions from thin air?? [Better not tell Barry about that, either :) ]

  3. I thought I did but most of the time I can't tell if the mysterious voices that I hear in my head are actually talking to me or not.